In five months I will turn 36.... This is not where I saw my life going as I was growing up.
I KNEW that I would get married.
I KNEW that I would have children.
I KNEW that I would be successful.
I KNEW everything about who I would be.
I am single. I am a mom... to my dog Chloe. I am successful, but not in the ways I expected. I thought I knew where my life was headed, but my goals have changed. I have changed. I want a partner in life, but I am not sure I want to get married. I love Chloe, but I do not want human children of my own. And at 35, I am ready to take a chance and start all over with a new career.
Yesterday, I completed my final class for my Bachelor of Science in Psychology. I will apply to Graduate School in December to get my Ph.D in Psychology. I am going back to school. At 18, I joined the US Air Force because I was tired of school. I did not want to go to college (more likely I was just too lazy to fill out all of those college applications). I decided to join the field that has the longest training time requirement. Then I decided to become Aircrew. FIVE years OF SCHOOL later, I was fully qualified. Over the next 12 years I would return to training for THREE MORE YEARS.
Two years ago, I realized that this is not the field for me. I want to be a Psychologist. So I return to school while working full time for TWO MORE YEARS. I expected to join the military to avoid school and spent more than 10 years in training. In one year, if all goes as planned, I will enter into year one of a five year program. Once again blowing my expectations out of the water.
What have I learned? I have learned that sometimes your expectations, your plans, are not right for you. If I had gotten married when I wanted to, I would not be on this path. If I had kids, I would not have the freedom I need to do what I want. Sometimes you make plans, and sometimes they do not work out, but that doesn't mean you have failed. Do not live in the past full of regrets. Do not live in the future waiting for your expectations to be met. Live in the now and enjoy the ride.
Today, Let's do a little bit less planning, and a Little Bit More Living ;)
If you need help call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Phone Number 1-800-273-8255
Reach out when you see someone who may be in need.
Amy Long is originally from California, but currently lives in Omaha, Nebraska. She in a member of the United States Air Force and works as a Base Wounded Warrior Advocate. Her career in the military gave her many opportunities to travel and see the world and for that she is grateful. She also had the opportunity to get her BS in Psychology and will apply to Graduate School to complete her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology.
Over the years, Amy fought to "get over it" alone and suffered the consequences that came with not listening when friends and family suggested she seek help. This was a hard lesson to learn, but now she works to recover from her invisible wounds and to teach others that you do not harm yourself by reaching out... You harm yourself by NOT reaching out for help.
Amy is proudly recovering from PTS, Depression, and Anxiety. This is not something that just disappears, but with help she is finding her "new normal" and regaining the independence that comes from analyzing and getting to know yourself through therapy.
For peer support and motivation visit her other Social Media pages for more information: